


Just Another Face...

by lovbot



Category: Marvel (House of M), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Angst, Captain America - Freeform, Fake Dating, M/M, Marvel - Freeform, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, fan fiction, mcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:59:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6919231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovbot/pseuds/lovbot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story is kinda choppy with a bunch of time jumps, just a few hours or a few days at most but thank you to anyone who reads it :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Just Another Face...

**Author's Note:**

> This story is kinda choppy with a bunch of time jumps, just a few hours or a few days at most but thank you to anyone who reads it :)

"Please, Steve!" Bucky begged me as I sat on the lounge, sketching lazily, while he paced the room in panic. "Bucky, I know your Mum! She will see right through it!" I argued back. "I just need you to be my date, please. She'll kill me if I don't show up with someone!" Bucky tugged at my jacket sleeve. "Buck! No!" I just about shouted. "Fine." Bucky huffed and stormed off to his room in our shared apartment, just like a three year old would. "Ugh! You're so childish!" I shouted at him, grabbing my phone and camera before leaving, Bucky needed some time, he always needed time to cool off before we talked it out, and we _always_ talked our problems out. 

Brooklyn was a fascinating town, great for my photography, busy people being - Well _busy_. I loved taking photos ever since I got my first camera, I took pictures of everything, well everything _until_ my mom got sick, then I didn't touch my camera for years. Along the process of my mom being sick I met this family, unintentionally. The Barnes family. Wini and Beck, they introduced themselves to me when I had walked into their room instead of my own mothers, in the bed they were sat at was my soon to be best-friend, James Buchanan Barnes, or Bucky as Beck, (and soon enough, I) referred to him. Bucky's mother, Wini, had asked me why I was crying and I just laid it all out to her, for some reason it just felt natural. Beck very kindly got me a cup of water while I explained everything to Wini, she is a very caring woman, Weeks go by and I start hanging around with Beck, Mom couldn’t afford a babysitter so I spent my nights at the hospital with her, sharing her bed and food, I had yet to meet Bucky. He was always asleep when I visited but Beck would tell me great, thrilling stories of their adventures together, some to this day I think probably didn't happen but they both insist they did, their mother laughing when they'd get so riled up about me not believing their stories, the two were known for causing mischief together. More weeks go by and I finally meet Bucky, a very fresh out of surgery, groggy, although still jaw dropping-ly cute, Bucky. To this day he still doesn't remember. But oh boy do I, his eyes were droopy but his cute little face made my younger self’s heart clench, Beck teased me about my reaction to meeting the boy for the rest of the day, but it was soon forgotten. Beck and Wini were introduced to my, at the time I didn't know, dying mother. She was really the only family I had left, Joseph, my father very quickly pissed off when my mother first became sick, or so I was told. Sarah and Wini would laugh, Sarah groaning in pain but never complaining, I knew she secretly loved the family atmosphere the Barnes family drew to the room. Bucky was soon dismissed from bed rest and very quickly it wasn't just Beck and I hanging out, it was the three of us, causing havoc, much to our mother’s dismay. Multiple times we were dragged back to my mother’s room by a nurse or security and Wini and Sarah would laugh about. "At least they're not doing it to each other!" Mom exclaimed through a fit of laughter one afternoon. 

_It took my mother three months to die._

Three months of being the 'adopted Barnes child' as everyone soon started referring to me as. The medical bills were under my father's name so I had no worry at all with those, only being 10 at the time. Wini did however adopt me, in my mother’s last week of life they had finished all the necessary arrangements to have me situated into the Barnes' house as soon as possible, and everything was left to me in my mother's will. A trust fund I couldn't open until I was Twenty-One and so much more. As Buck and I grew up we slowly drifted from Beck, we were ‘too cool’ for her and she also started becoming a little more girlish with age. We still had some epic adventures through-out our teen years together but not as often as our younger years. Like the time we all decided that it would be a good idea to sneak out, I drove, I was only a year older than Buck but I refused to let anyone else but me drive, knowing I could still pay attention to the road as well as goof off. We played music loudly, singing along disgustingly off key while driving around the city, only none of us had thought to bring any money or a phone, so when we ran out of gas, an hour away from the house, we were screwed. An hour walk back to the house in the rain was all we needed. The three of us had a cold for the next week, staying home together and I’m sure, still causing some more mischief and havoc around the house.

On Bucky's sixteenth birthday after we had gotten _way_ too drunk off hard liquor Wini had locked in a cupboard, (don't even ask how we broke into it, that's a whole other story in itself) Bucky crushed his body up against mine as we sat on the roof of the small house, hushed drunk giggles and jokes put aside. Bucky came out as gay to me. I was a little shocked at first. "What about all those crushes you told me about!?" I had questioned him. I still remember how red his cheeks became. "All about boys." Bucky shrugged. We both shrugged it off with killer hangovers the next morning as well as a stern talking to from Wini, the shouting piercing our heads harsh enough to warn us off drinking for the next couple of years. The two of us were inseparable as ever until Bucky got his first boyfriend, I became extremely jealous but Bucky also became extremely unlike himself, I'd ask about it but he would shrug it off, which was very unlike him. I walked in on him in the bathroom one night, he was wearing boxers but bruises covered his chest and thighs. "B-Buck! What happened!?" I nearly screamed. That was the first time I had seen Bucky really cry. He rushed towards me, wrapped his arms around my neck and sobbed into my shoulder. A night of cuddling, a restraining order and a new town later we were back to normal, of course Bucky was a little more weary and skittish than before but it was still Bucky. A few months into moving to the new town, Beck got her first boyfriend and Bucky stayed up nights worrying about her. "Buck... He isn't like Luke." I remember telling him one night and he just broke down. "I know..." He whispered and I just held him until he calmed down, running my hands through his hair. "I'll never be able to trust another man again, what am I going to do, Stevie?" Bucky has asked me, using his childish nickname for me. I had shrugged, "You still trust me, that's gotta count for something."

Then Bucky did _it_. 

Bucky had kissed me. 

Pushing him back, I understood what was going on. Bucky was more fragile than we had suspected and I had been the only one truly there for him, I could understand where Bucky had gotten the wrong message. We talked it out and to this day still laugh about it. 

I shook my head, shaking the memories and continued snapping pictures of the busy town buzzing around me, the sun slowly setting in the sky. After an hour I started making my way home, Bucky should have come to his senses by now. There is no way Wini would believe us and Beck! Oh god, Beck! She would think of this whole thing as crazy! I laughed to myself as I walked through the door of Bucky and I's shared apartment. "Buck?" I questioned. "Uh, yeah! In here!" Bucky shouted from the bathroom. I knocked before entering, Bucky had his towel wrapped low on his hips and I stuttered an apology for walking in. "We've seen each other naked many times before, Stevie. It's okay!" He laughed it off but I couldn't help blushing, and not just a little pink tinge on my cheeks the full red around my neck and across my chest, instantly I became ten times warmer than I was previously. "Where are you going?" I asked as Bucky payed attention to the stubble on his jaw with a razor. "The Rose Bar." Bucky said quickly. "Bucky!" I groaned. That was the gay bar further into the city, the hook-up place for gays. "What!?" Bucky snapped back. "Please don't be annoyed with me, don't ditch me for a quick hook up just because I won't pretend to be in a relationship with you!" I basically begged, Bucky had done this before. It annoyed me more than I cared to admit. "Steve, you know her nearly as good as I do but recently she has been dead set on me being in a relationship for some reason, we can just pretend and then a few weeks after tell her we ended it on a good note and we're close than ever or some crap, please Steve you know how much I hate disappointing her and if I don't show up with someone! It couldn't be better timing, you're between jobs and school plus I've taken time off for it! Please Steve I don't want to go without you, not this time! Plus you haven't visited her in little over a year and it isn't far from Sarah's grave which you know you have put off visiting for over two and a half years!" Bucky's face had turned a shade of red from talking so much in an angry tone. "You're an ass. Fine." He'd pulled the guilt card and he knew it, the make-me-feel-guilty-so-I-feel-bad-and-have-to-do-it card. Bucky smiled and rushed over to hug me. "Dude!" I exclaimed. "Oh! Shit! I'm sorry." Bucky smirked wiping his shaving cream covered chin all over my shirt. "You little shit!" I shouted, pushing him back and grabbing the bottle, squeezing the contents at him as he protested in high-pitch screams. After both cleaning ourselves up we spent the rest of the night going over our backstory and everything because of course, in true Bucky fashion, he had left it up until last minute to tell me, we had 3 days. "Don't be annoyed when they figure out its all lies." I sighed half-way through a plan of answers for questions we would most likely be asked but Bucky insisted we wouldn't, shrugging away like usual. We had 3 days to make it seem like we had been dating for little over two months, that's when Bucky had first told his mother that he'd gotten a boyfriend, more to get her off his back than anything. "Night, Stevie." Bucky slugged over to lean against my bedroom door frame, shirtless with sweatpants hung low on his hips. "Night, Buck." I smiled as he closed my door behind him. I stripped into my boxers and turned the lamp beside me off, I needed so much sleep if I was going to get through these next few days.

  


*******

**  
**

 "You're so lucky its in-between school terms or else I don't know if I'd be able to do this." I groaned from the passenger seat beside Bucky. "Well mister fancy art school student, I'm glad." Bucky joked, turning up the radio slightly. The four hour car journey was mostly spent in silence or sleep. "Bucky, Buck! We're here." I shook the sleeping loaf beside me, he'd fallen asleep basically as soon as we switched driving but I didn't mind, the radio was company enough. "What?" Bucky questioned, rubbing his eyes of sleep. "BUCK!" Beck yelled running from the house to the car as I stepped out, cap pulled low over my face. "Where is the boyfriend!?" Beck asked excitedly and I internally groaned. Bucky's face screwed up with confusion before realisation hit. "Oh! Getting the bags from the back." I could hear the smirk in Bucky smiled. Crap! Moment of truth here we come. "Hi! I'm Be- Steve!?" Beck had her hand half-way out to be shook before she realised, her face twisted in confusion. "What are you doing here?!" She seemed confused but still happy. Before I could speak Bucky had snuck up behind me and pinched my ass, I jumped, blushing straight away. "Oh my god!? You're the boyfriend!?" Beck nearly screamed. Bucky hadn't told anyone that I would be the so called 'boyfriend' escorting him to his cousins wedding. "Guilty as charged." I smiled, wrapping my arm around Bucky's shoulder. "It was only a matter of time!" Beck shrugged and hugged me tight before skipping off into the house. "What did she mean!?" I questioned as soon as she was out of ear shot but Bucky just shrugged before grabbing the rest of the bags and closing the trunk. Wini dropped the spoon she was holding when she saw Bucky and I walk through the door. "Steve!" She screamed, skipping over and instantly gripping me into a huge hug. "I didn't know you were coming! I only set everything up for two extra people!" She seemed worried. "Ma, it's only us two." Bucky's hand made its way around my waist and I nearly jumped. This was going to be too weird.

  


_******* _

  


"I can't believe they all expected us to date." I sighed, looking up at the roof of Bucky's & i's old room. Bucky shrugged from beside me on the queen bed that had replaced our separate single beds. The room was more of a guest room now. "I'm not even out..." I mumbled. Bucky choked on his water. "WHAT!?" He just about screamed through his choking fit. I stayed quiet and awkwardly fiddled with the hem of my probably a size too small shirt. "Y-you're gay?" Bucky questioned. I shook my head. "Bi?" He questioned for the second time. Again, I shook my head. It took Bucky a few minutes to ask the third time. "Pan?" His head tilted to the side when he asked me. "Ding, ding, ding." I mumbled, huffing and lying back on the bed, covering my blushing face. Bucky pushed my hands from my face. "Don't do that, talk to me." He squeezed my shoulder and pulled me into a sitting position. "I don't know, I just like people, not anyone in specific." I shrugged, looking at my hands fiddling in my lap. "Stevie..." Buck sighed resting his hand on my leg, squeezing it reassuringly. "I just... I didn't think it was such a big thing." I shrugged. "Well you know I support you." Bucky smiled and bumped his shoulder with mine. "Thanks, Buck." I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt better to get that off of my chest. "Hope you're both decent!" Wini spoke as she opened the door. Bucky grabbed my hand quickly and I just kept my head where it was. "Oh, hi. God you two look so cute, I'm glad you got together." She kissed Bucky on the forehead and dropped a plate of cookies on the bed beside us. When she left neither I nor Bucky moved. "This is going to be hard y'know." Bucky's voice cracked. "Hey-" I grabbed both his hands and faced him. "It's going to be okay, Buck. We can do this." I assured him. Bucky sighed, leant forward and rested his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my hands around his back and he sighed. "So many memories, Stevie." He whispered after a few minutes of silence. "Just... Think of all the good ones, not the bad ones." I rub my hands comfortingly up and down his back. "God, I'm so glad you came. It's so hard to come here without you." Bucky whispered. I could basically see the cogs turning in his head at the memories, night terrors, the sprout of depression, the slow movement of his trust seeping back into his life and most of all his smile. It was so long after everything that Bucky actually smiled, his real smile and God, I didn't think I could have missed something as much as I did Bucky's smile at that time. "God, you're too nice, Stevie. You know that don't you?" Bucky questioned. I just laughed and shook my head. Seconds later Beck rushed into the room, screaming. "CAN I OPEN MY EYES OR ARE YOU TWO DOING SOMETHING GROSS?" She bounced around the room. "Just cuddling." I felt Bucky shrug. Beck open one eye at a time and then let out an exaggerated 'Aww!’ "Beck, what do you want. I'm sorry but we're both not really in the mood after driving here and just stuff." Bucky spoke quietly, tightening his grip around me, this place really did affect him. "I just came to tell you guys that mum said you both have to be up at nine tomorrow to get ready in time for the wedding or else she's coming with pots and pans and we know how that went last time." Beck giggled and started walking out of the room. "Rebecca wait!" Bucky shouted before letting go of me, the warmth he brought suddenly left me and I felt somewhat sad. "Oh the full name, this must be serious." She joked, winking at me. "I'll be back in a second, babe." Bucky kissed my cheek and I instantly started blushing, nodding my head and still nodding once they had left, a little out of it. This is going to be harder than I thought. I sighed lying back down, Bucky joined me a few minutes later, leaving the door open and coming in to cuddle up by my side. "Sorry... For y'know kissing your cheek." Buck mumbled. "It's okay." I grabbed his hand and knotted it through mine, soon enough we had drifted off to sleep. Full from Wini's cooking she shoved down our throats as soon as we arrived and warm from being so close to each other, it was the best sleep I had ever had.

  


_******* _

  


True to her word, the next morning, Wini came in, bashing pots and pans together, Beck looking on and laughing as Bucky and I got so startled we jumped, the close proximity of our faces causing us to, equally as hard, clash heads, groaning and both gripping our foreheads, Wini stopped to burst into a fit of laughter along with Beck. "I'm sorry, baby." I whispered, going back into fake boyfriend mode. Bucky blushed and buried his head in my neck. "Give us five minutes would you!" Bucky shoo'd his family away with a flick of his wrist in the air, keeping his head buried in my neck, I could feel his shallow breathes ticking my neck. "B-Buck-" I laughed. "Y-you're tickling me!" He moved his head so his chin was resting on my shoulder and he was looking directly at me. "You are like the biggest and best teddy-bear to sleep with ever, God." Bucky sighed and lied his head on my chest. My hand, by habit, started playing with his hair, he had grown it out a bit in the last few months, but it really suited him. Bucky moaned. "You haven't done this for so long." He mumbled. "You haven't had a night terror in so long." I whispered, taking my other hand and knitting it through Bucky's. Normally he'd crawl into bed with me if he had a night terror, I'd spend the entire night coaxing him back into sleep, playing with his hair seemed to calm him, so that's what I did. "It feels even better when I haven't had a nightmare." Bucky squeezed my hand before letting it go, sitting up. "We should start getting ready." Bucky nodded his head. I could hear footsteps coming closer, Bucky looked like a deer in headlights before he rushed back over to me, kissing my forehead right as Wini walked in. "I bags first shower." Bucky smirked. "Dick!" I shouted as he closed the bathroom door. "So Steve, how's life?" Wini spoke. "Good, I'm in between jobs and on school break so the timing for this couldn't be any better." I smiled. "Oh yeah! You used your trust fund to pay for art school, I had forgotten Bucky told me that." She smiled. "I remember you drawing all the time when you and Bucky weren't off causing trouble. Do you have your art book? Can I see it? Are there any drawings of Bucky?" She laughed. I blushed. "Uh... Yeah there is some of Bucky... Actually." I stumbled for my bag to grab out my art book. When we would lounge around the apartment, me usually doing homework I would sometimes take breaks and just sketch like mad, Buck being oblivious that half the time I was drawing him. "Oh my god, Hun! These are amazing! No wonder they let you in!" She flipped through the many pages of the book. "He's a great artist, isn't he?" Bucky smirked, leaning up against the door frame, towel hung low on his hips. "James! Put some bloody clothes on!" She scoffed. “I’m sure Steve doesn’t mind.” Bucky looked at me, challenging me with his eyes. I stuttered before Wini rolled her eyes, placed my art book on the bed and left the room, mumbling under her breath. Bucky’s cool, casual demander disappearing as he made his way over to me and stood quite close. "What did you tell her?" He seemed slightly nervous. "She just asked about me, Buck. It's fine." I placed my hand on his chest, pushing him a little back and walking around him to have a shower. 

The warm water does wonders to my sleepy state, waking me up and making me smell less like I had spent four hours sweating in a hot car yesterday. Bucky whistled once I stepped out of the bathroom, only in my boxers. He grabbed my ass and pushed himself against me, I just about choked. "Beck's listening at the door." He whispered in my ear. "Buck!-" I laughed, loud. "Not now! I just got out the shower." I protested. "Later?" He asked, his voice was deep and very, _very_ suggestive, I couldn't help but blush. "Later." I agreed, shrugging him off me. He put his finger to his lips before moving to the door. "She's gone." Bucky laughed. I took a deep breath, not even realising I had been holding it. “God you blush so easily, Steve!” Bucky joked but I just awkwardly laughed. Bucky realised my slight discomfort. "Sorry, to y'know... Do all that. I'm just-" Bucky sighed. "Hey, hey!" I rushed over to him and took one of his hands. "Stop worrying, it will be fine." I rubbed my thumb reassuringly across Bucky's hand. He sighed before placing his arms around my waist. "You're too good to me, Stevie." He mumbled. "Bucky, shut up. I owe you and your family everything.” It was true, they housed me and Bucky has been my best and basically only friend, I felt obligated to stick by him, not a forced obligation like… a want to obligation? Ugh, I don’t even know what I feel. We stood like that for a while before Bucky pulled away, continuing getting ready. "You're a little sneak, y'know?” He laughed as I had started to get dressed, I spun around to throw him a questioning glance but when I saw him sitting on the bed, my art book open in his hand I blushed. "Do I really look like this? I'm pretty sure you've drawn me all wrong.” Bucky laughs. "Hey, none of that shit, you're a handsome man.” I blushed, trying to play it off. "If... I mean... Like if you ever need me to y'know like sit for you to draw for school... You can ask me, it's all cool.” Bucky blushed. I continued buttoning up my dress shirt as I spoke. "Yeah... That would help, I think we are actually doing details of the body next semester." I laughed. "It's settled then, my body is yours to... art with?" Bucky couldn't stop laughing at the weird request. His laugh was infectious and within seconds we were both laughing hysterically at the conversation.

  


_******* _

  


Bucky and I spent the wedding ceremony with our hands knitted together, faking loving looks at each other when something cute or sweet would happen, like every other couple seated around us. Buck cheered and excessively threw the flower petals we had been given, using both mine and his in excitement. He was very giddy and happy for his cousin, I had met her a handful of times, and she was a little intimidating but pretty cool, Bucky and Her always stayed in contact. Bucky pulled me along as he rushed inside to be the first to greet her before they went to go get photos taken in the close by fields. "Natalia!" Bucky shouted, his hand was still in mine, pulling me harshly along. The two clashed and Clint, Nat's now husband laughed. "Hey Steve, how are you?" Clint shook my hand. "Congratulations, and Yeah great, you?" I smiled, we talked while Nat and Buck caught up. "Amazing, so Bucky and you, huh?" He raised his eyebrows. "Of course! It's about time you two took that step forward. Hell Clint and I were exactly like you two and now look at us." Nat lovingly looked at her husband after she'd piped up. Both Bucky and I were blushing like crazy, he wrapped his arm around my waist and buried his head into my shoulder to hide it. We stood off to the side as Nat and Clint talked with other guests and eventually left to get the photos with the other bridesmaids and groomsmen. Buck turned and looked at me, smiling. I leant down to whisper in his ear so no one would hear. "Why do they all think we should be together?" I laughed slightly to make it seem like I wasn't thinking about it as much as I really was. Bucky spun and rested both his hands on my chest, probably to make it look less conspicuous, people wouldn’t really interrupt us like this, hopefully. "Maybe because we're both attractive single men." He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the sides, so cute. Before I could speak a middle aged woman approached Bucky and I. Buck kissed my cheek before stepping away. "Hi aunt Roo!" Bucky laughed and quickly hugged the woman, distracting her.

  


_******* _

  


The dancing was in full swing as Bucky and I sat at the table, a tangle of conjoined limbs, he whispering to me who was who and who we liked and who we didn't. We had already eaten, an amazing meal, the first dance had happened and I assumed speeches would be coming up soon. "My homophobic cousin is a definite stay the hell away from, look at him, staring us down, pathetic." Bucky glared. "Hey, stop." I rested my hand on Bucky’s knee, his attention instantly coming back to me. I changed the subject, a little tired of Bucky's rambling about his family. "Why have I never seen this suite, it looks good." I spoke quietly. "Mhhm? You think?" Bucky adjusted slightly in his seat so I could see more. It was a nice maroon colour with black trimmings and he wore a nice grey undershirt. "Yeah, I really do." I smiled. "Hey, you don't look to bad yourself, mister." Bucky laughed. The music stopped from one thumping clash of a song to another. "Hey! Barnes! Get up here with Rogers and show off your man already!" Brock, Nat's best friend laughed. "Okay, Rumlow!" Bucky teased back. "Dance with me, boyfriend." Bucky knelt in front of me, offering me his hand to take. I slapped his shoulder. "Get off you knee they'll think your proposing!" I took his hand and he swung me onto the dance floor. "That's it boys!" Brock laughed, currently dancing with his date, a cute blonde woman. "Yeah, our awkward shuffling is great!” Bucky joked back with him. "I actually love this song." Bucky smiled at me. "Yeah? It's not that bad." I smirked back. We shook our hips, probably looking like idiots, after a song or two we loosened up a bit and started goofing around, Bucky and I couldn’t stop laughing, it was almost like we were having a dance off only we were doing stupidly ridiculous moves, people beside us even laughed at some of them, including Rumlow! Not long after that a slow song came on and Bucky’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “S-Steve!” He stammered as I stepped closer. “No, let’s go! I have two left feet when it comes to things like this!” I rested my hands on his waist and he just about squeaked, not expecting the contact. “Buck, it’s okay we can just sway together, calm down, no one is watching.” I reassured him, before he moved he looked around the dance floor to see all the other couples too entranced by their partners to pay even the slightest attention to us, He let out a laugh before wrapping his hands around my neck. I tightened my arms around him and started swaying, “See this isn’t that bad, is it?” I asked after a few seconds, leaning to whisper it in Bucky’s ear, he tightened his arm around me, enabling me to pull back, and rested his head on my shoulder. The swaying was lulling me into a relaxed state so I close my eyes and rest my head against Bucky’s, he hums and I can’t help but smile. After a few songs we get interrupted. "Uh excuse me." A little girl tugged on my coat, I pulled away from Bucky's grip and crouched down so I could hear her better. I gave her a smiled and she started blushing. "Would you like to dance?" I asked her, she nodded her head and looked at the ground. Bucky laughed. "My dates getting taken away from me by an eight year old, great!" Bucky joked, people who were close by laughed. Bucky kissed me on the cheek before retiring back to his seat. I gripped the little girl and lifted her so that her feet were standing on top of mine, she giggled away as I spun her around and danced with her for two songs, she told me her name was Kat. I introduced myself and we continued dancing, I loved making her laugh and smile, it felt good. Not long after our third song her mother came rushing over. "Kat! Leave the poor man alone!-" she scolded the young girl. "-I'm so sorry she bothered you, Steve." The lady apologised. "No! Its fine, we had great fun didn't we, Kat." I smiled and crouched down. She nodded her head and giggled. I gave her a hug goodbye and made my way over to Bucky, before I could make it Beck stood in front of me, blocking my way. "Steve, come dance." She turned me back towards to dance floor. We swayed awkwardly and stiff. "Now, I know we grew up together and blah blah blah but you know I still have to give you the over protective sister speech. So if you hurt Bucky I will personally hunt you down and knock your head off of those oddly wide shoulders of yours, okay?" She threatened. "You know I'd never dream of hurting him, Beck." I mumbled. "I honestly couldn't imagine it, I'd hate myself if I ever hurt him, and he’s my best friend." I smiled, Beck seemed happy with that. "Okay, c'mon I'll take you back to Buck now, he's probably looking for us, trying to stop being hounded about his life by our family." She laughed. We found Buck, sure enough surrounded by a few of his relatives. As I took my seat Bucky's Nan smiled at me. I sipped my ice water as she spoke. "It's so nice for you to have come joined James for these two weeks." She smiled, I choked on my water. I glared at Bucky. He looked at me sheepishly, not denying the obvious mistake. "This is a joke." I just about slammed my glass on the table. I scoffed and made my way out of the room. "Steve! Wait!" Bucky protested, grabbing my arm. I shrugged him off, "Don't follow me." I spat venomously. Bucky looked so hurt and I instantly regretted the harsh tone I used, but I followed through with my movement and left the venue. The cool night breeze hit me and I sighed, walking further away from the lace and cute decoration clad building. "He finally told you it was a two week stay, huh?" Nat came out of the shadows, startling me. She had changed into a nice black and green dress, easier to move around in. She offered me the cigarette she had been smoking and I took it, a comfort habit. "Yeah... I just... I hate liars and he knows that! My parents lied to me about my mother being sick my whole life and I just... Ugh! I can't stand liars! Had Bucky just told me it was two weeks up front I would-" "You wouldn't have come." Nat cut me off. I sighed, knowing she was right. "Nat... I _just_... God." I groaned, running my hands through my hair. "Bucky... He- Steve he really does like you, in all the years I've known him, I've never seen his eyes light up more than when he's talking about you, and he seems so calm around you, like no worries could ever touch him with you by his side. Steve, he's an absolute mess without you, you have no idea how his last trip out here went - he lost it. You're honest to god the thing keeping him going... I knew you two would realise that there is more here than just friendship... When that happens I'll be completely here for both of you." She patted my back, she knew?! Before I could speak she nodded her head. "No one can lie to me." She laughed. "It's true." Clint laughed, walking towards us with a teary Bucky under his arm. "Nat, the guests are looking for you... probably both of us now, the speeches are due to start." He laughed but I couldn't take my eyes off Bucky. Bucky... My Bucky. Nat knocked the nearly finished cigarette out of my hand and stomped on it, pushing me towards Bucky. She and Clint left to go back to their wedding. "Steve-" "Bucky-" We both spoke at the same time. I nodded for him to go first and he sighed. "I couldn't do this trip without you... It's too hard, you-you-you're the only thing that keeps me grounded, Stevie. I don't know what it is... I don't know why but ever since... Ever since what happened you've been the only one for me, I couldn't imagine anyone else to be spending my time with, weather that be as friends or-" before Bucky could finish I grabbed his hand. "Please, don't, Buck." I basically begged. "- _lovers_." Bucky finished. "Buck... I... I don't feel that way about you. Well I mean... I don't think I do... Everything's tough at the moment... I only just came out to you Buck... I don't think I'm ready to actually date you... Yet?" I said unsure. Bucky nodded. "We'll just keep this up and then once we're home... We'll discuss it more, okay?" I spoke. Bucky nodded his head and I smiled, it was a little too early to be acting all lovey again so we made it back inside in silence and I sat in my seat with Wini as Bucky made his rounds to his relatives, giving me much respected space. "I'm sorry Bucky didn't tell you it was two weeks, I wonder why he didn't tell you." Wini pondered more to herself than out loud. "I'm very attached to routine and the city and our apartment so I think he might have just not mentioned it so I didn't get overwhelmed." I lied. Wini nodded along, I don't think she was quite convinced but apparently enough for her to drop the subject. "You two really are cute, Steve." She smiled, eyes following both her real children making their way around the big family and family friends seated everywhere. "Thanks." I mumbled, blushing. "I can't believe it took both of you this long to get together, I thought you would be together months after you both moved out but what... It's been little over... Two years?" She was unsure so I nodded my head, confirming her statement. "I'm glad, you're both perfect for each other." She smiled. My eyes caught Bucky's at that exact second. "Yeah..." I mumbled. " _Perfect._ " 

  


_******* _

  


The next morning I woke up in the opposite side of the bed, as far away from Bucky as I could be. He was still a little weary of me after last night’s tiff. "You awake?" I mumbled. Bucky just ignored me and got up to use the bathroom. I sighed and left the room. I knocked on Beck's room and she mumbled 'come in'. "Oh! Steve, hey, sit down." The patted the bed, scooting up a bit. "Beck..." I sniffled. "Steve! What's wrong?!" She bounced from her spot on her bed to right beside me, hugging me tightly. I hugged her back and let it out. I sobbed. She whispered comforting things and ran her hand up and down my back, but it wasn't Bucky. It wasn't who I really wanted in my arms. "Steve?" She asked after a few minutes of silence. "What's going on?" She asked. So I laid it out for her, not blowing our cover but I said most of what I was feeling. That I was still struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality and I didn't want to drag Bucky down with that and being here is tough because it makes me think about the family I don't have and that Bucky and I fought last night and now he's ignoring me, but really he doesn't normally do that, normally we talk it out but this time somethings changed, it's different. I don't want things to change. "A-and I miss my mom." Was the last thing I mumbled. "Oh, Stevie!" Beck's eyes were even a little teary. She squeezed me hard and talked softly. "You and Bucky will work things out, you always do just give it some time, and maybe this one needs more time. As for the family thing, yeah I couldn't imagine how you feel but you do know that you are a part of this one, always. You'll always be my big brother, just like Buck. And... Your Mum, God from what I remember she was beautiful, Steve. I'm sure she'd love to see you. Why don't you go see her? You haven't in so long I'm sure it would put you at ease a little, being with her." Beck nodded, pulling back to smile slightly at me. I thanked her and left the room, Bucky was nowhere to be seen. *** It took me two days to build up the courage to finally go see my mum. Bucky was still ignoring me and it hurt, I needed my family to comfort me and Bucky wasn't there like he usually was... so I went by myself, I had never been to my mother’s grave alone, normally I become too distraught to drive afterwards but I guess I’ll just have to suck it up this time. I woke in the morning and dressed casual, I took the car and made a stop for flowers, hydrangeas, my mother’s favourite. When I arrived it took me a few minutes to walk to the back where my mother's grave stone was. The morning air was chilly and I pulled my coat tight around me. I sat beside the grave, resting the flowers in a little holder off the side. "Hey, mom." I sighed, lying down to rest on my elbows beside her. "I'm good... But y'know- I miss you." I sighed. Memories swarmed my head of the many times Wini took me here when I was younger, a lot of the time Bucky came with me for support. A few tears escaped and I wiped at them quickly. I pulled the weeds growing around my mother’s grave out. When I saw the back of it my heart swelled. 

_‘“STEVIE! STEVIE!” Bucky ran over, fast, clashing shoulders with me as I basked in the sun beside my mother’s grave. "What Buck?” I questioned, pushing my sunglasses off my head. "I have an idea for our beautiful Sarah here." Bucky smiled and sat behind my mother’s tomb stone. "She probably misses you when you're not here right?" Bucky seemed a little enthusiastic for being in a graveyard. "Well... Yeah..." I shrugged. Bucky whipped out a Swiss Army knife. "Let's carve our names into it so we're always here with her. “Okay." I smiled. Bucky chipped away at the stone, I zoned out thinking of my mom. "Stevie, I'm done." Buck spoke, pride and happiness laced his voice. Pretty perfect lettering for a knife on the back of a tombstone, Bucky had carved 'Buck and Steve' into it and my heart swelled at the boy sitting next to me. I gripped him in a tight hug and whispered thank you's in his ear as I cried'_

I hadn't realised I'd started crying at the memory but once they started I just couldn't stop. "I miss you mom, please come back." I sobbed, curling up against the grave stone. I'd never been to the dreary grounds without Bucky so it felt as if two something's were missing. I knew I'd screw this up, I just knew it. I don't know how long I cried there for but the tears didn't let up and I hugged my knees to my chest. "Why do I have to ruin everything, _Ma?_ " I questioned. "Why me? Huh? What a cliché thing to say but why? What did I do Ma? Look, I've done it again, ruining _everything_ with Buck, God!" I sobbed worse as I went on and on, my head in my hands, my mind running with so many thoughts, I knew this would give me a headache later but I couldn’t explain it, it was like every emption I’ve had over the last few days just broke free. "You never ruined anything with me, I'm the one who had to develop feelings and fuck everything up." I heard from above me. I'd never been so relieved to see Bucky in my entire life. " _Buck!_ " I sobbed, rushing straight towards him and just about tackling him. "Why did you come here on your own!? You know what you're like...” Bucky mumbled, wiping the tears as they fell. "I-I thought y-you hated m-me..." I mumbled, resting my head on his shoulder. He laughed. "Actually, quite the opposite, Stevie." Bucky sighed, running his hands up and down my back in a comforting way. "God... Buck." I mumbled. "No, no. It's okay, I've been sure on my feelings for a while now, you're just coming to terms with yours, I completely understand." Bucky squeezed me one last time before pulling away. He followed me to sit next to the grave, close enough so I knew he was there for me but giving me space I needed. "Hey... Ma? You remember Bucky, right?" I mumbled. The wind picked up slightly and I laughed. "Well, he's really awesome... But I’m having some trouble with coming to terms with some stuff of my own right now and it's a little difficult but... I... I just wanted you to be the first to know the truth." I shrugged. I gripped Bucky's hand tight as I spoke the next sentence. "I really, _really_ like him... I really do." I smiled, Bucky's hand noticeably became stiff. "Y-you do?" Bucky muttered. I turned to face Buck, his face... So much was running through my head. "Of course I do." I smiled, my heart clenched. "I think I always pushed it away, because I was afraid to be different... But Buck, God I couldn't imagine being without you by my side, like you said, whether it be as friends... Or lovers." I mumbled the last part. The wind howled and I stifled a laugh. "Mom gives her blessing from the grave." I smile. Bucky takes his other hand in mine and seems a little awestruck before the biggest grin takes over his face and he starts rambling and blurting out all these things. He stops mid-sentence blushing. "We're going to start slow..." He said, I nodded on conformation. "How about... A kiss?" Bucky questions and I can already feel my face heating up like a tomato. "God you're too cute." Bucky whispers moving closely. "Mhhm?" I question as he starts to lean it. "The cutest...” He mumbles against my lips, and then it's happening.

We're _kissing_ , and it's not like I've read, it isn't a bang of fireworks or a little surge of zap electricity. It's _messy_ and _passionate_ , it's everything words can't say and more. It's years of pent up denial for feelings and most of all, it's _Bucky_.


End file.
